Requirements/ Guidelines
You need to be a committed disciple of Jesus.
A disciple is someone who is following Jesus, being changed by Jesus, and is committed to the mission of Jesus (Matt. 4:19; https://discipleship.org/about-discipleship-org/).
Though it's possible to communicate information about following Jesus without actually being a committed disciple, you will never be able to lead where you have not already followed. Simply knowing information about Jesus will never be enough. You must know him personally and be growing into his likeness through the ongoing renewal of your mind, transformation of your heart, and reorienting of your hands. This is what Jesus called his followers to when he walked this earth and it is what we must call his followers to do today.
You need to be able to pray aloud for people.
Depending on your experience with praying for people out loud, this may or may not be a challenge for you. If you’re nervous about it, try praying for someone out loud when you’re alone before you try it in person. Know that your prayer does not need to be long or eloquent. At the end of your time together, ask how you can pray for them and then pray for that request then and there. If they do not have any requests, pray for God to provide for their needs, to help them love God and others well, and to guide them as they seek to follow him. Keep in mind that they probably won’t be critiquing your prayer. Prayer will be newer to them than it is to you, so even if you stumble over your words, you will be showing them that they don’t have to be an “expert” to pray.
You need to be able to listen well.
While your relationship with your mentee should not be completely one- sided, it should be weighted towards the mentee. Resist the urge to dominate the discussion space. It’s easy for well-meaning mentors, in the spirit of teaching/advising, to turn the focus from the mentees’ thoughts/questions/challenges to their own thoughts/experiences. Develop the habit of regularly asking yourself: “Am I making this discussion about me?”
This does not mean that you should not share your personal thoughts and experiences, it simply means that they should not dominate the discussion time. Remember that there is great power in simply listening and letting people know that you have heard and understood what they have said.
Keep in mind, there are few places in this world where people can go to feel heard and understood. If you want to love people well and continue having the opportunity to nurture their faith, listen well. If you want to send them running for the hills, spend the entire discussion talking.
You need to follow these reporting guidelines.
(1) If you become aware of abuse or neglect of a child or vulnerable adult, follow these instructions for reporting the situation: https://www.flcourts.org/content/download/634439/file/Mandatory-Reporting-of-Abuse-Checklist.pdf. In the state of Florida, all adults are considered mandatory reporters. If you need support, please contact your mentor coach for assistance. If the situation involves abuse taking place within Faith Community Church, please immediately contact a member of the pastoral staff or church board so actions may be taken to protect the vulnerable. We realize that this can be an intimidating conversation to have, but rest assured, your reporting will be met with deep appreciation and we will prioritize protecting the vulnerable over and above protecting the powerful. That being said, if you do not feel that the situation is being adequately addressed by our local church, please reach out to the Florida District for the Church of the Nazarene (phone: 863-644-9331 email: [email protected]) for further assistance.
(2) If your mentee is considering suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) right away.
(3) If you believe that your mentee poses a threat to themselves or others due to mental health issues, review the following guidelines (https://www.myflfamilies.com/service-programs/samh/crisis-services/laws/bainvex.pdf) and consider reporting the situation to a law enforcement officer or a healthcare provider.
You need to follow these confidentiality guidelines.
(1) Ask your mentee to let you know if they would like something that might easily be mistaken as “common knowledge” to be kept confidential (ex. losing a job, buying a house, having surgery) and honor those requests.
(2) Do not gossip about your mentee. If you want to share information about your mentee that is of a personal, intimate, or sensational nature, do so only on a need- to-know basis. This means that you only share it with someone who needs to know to help resolve a problem and only after asking permission to do so. Remember that it could be very damaging to a new Christian’s faith if you betray their trust through gossip. When in doubt, hold your tongue (except in the cases described in the reporting guidelines listed above).
(3) Let your mentee know in advance that the one place you will be discussing some of your conversations is with your mentor coach. Let your mentee know that you will be checking in with this person from time to time as you progress through the course and may seek their feedback and guidance to help you grow as a mentor.
You need to be committed and dependable.
Take a moment to review the responsibilities listed in the introduction to this course. Be honest with yourself about whether or not you are prepared to follow through with these commitments. Your commitment level will set the tone for your mentee. If you don’t prioritize your meetings, neither will your mentee.
If your mentee is regularly disrespecting your time by bailing on you or showing up significantly late, have a conversation with your mentorship coach about the best way to address the situation.
If, in the midst of the course, you find yourself unable to fulfill your commitments, please contact your mentorship coach as soon as possible so they can ensure your mentee doesn’t slip through the cracks.
You need to remain open to the theology being taught.
Each and every course in the Core is designed to lay a solid foundation on which we can build throughout future courses. It is important that the theological framework being presented remains relatively consistent as people move from course to course. If you are having difficulty affirming something that is presented in the teachings, please reach out to Pastor Jessica. She will be happy to talk with you and see if the discrepancy is genuine or only apparent. She can also help you determine if the difference in perspective will cause meaningful problems for you as a mentor. You do not have to agree with everything and it is okay to admit to your mentee that you struggle with something. However, if you feel adamantly opposed to a core teaching, it may be difficult for you to be effective as a mentor in this context.