You don't need to be a...
You don’t need to be a skilled theologian.
All of the key concepts that your mentee will need to understand are covered in the assigned readings and videos. If you have gone through the materials yourself and have a solid grasp on what is being taught in them, you should be adequately prepared theologically to mentor someone else through this course.
If your mentee asks you questions that are outside of your scope of understanding, don’t be afraid to say, “That’s a good question. I don’t know, but let me see what I can do to find out and I'll get back to you.” After the meeting (or even during!) give your mentorship coach a call to discuss the question. If you don’t feel comfortable relaying the answer yourself, your coach is available to meet and discuss more in-depth theological questions with your mentee if they arise. That being said, WE DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS ...and that's okay. Don't be afraid to think deeply in the pursuit of truth, but ultimately, mystery will never go away.
The FCC Greenhouse is designed to train people to think about God, the Bible, and the world from a distinctively Wesleyan/Holiness theological perspective. This perspective is relatively unique in this region of the country and may therefore contain some concepts that challenge long-standing beliefs held by those who have been exposed to a more Reformed/Calvinist theological perspective or a fundamentalist version of the Christian faith. It will be helpful for you to have some familiarity with the key differences between these perspectives if you are working with someone who has been exposed to the more common Reformed/Calvinist or fundamentalist teachings (or if you yourself have a background in any of these faith traditions).
Please note that the important thing is that a Wesleyan/Holiness perspective is being presented, not that everyone who goes through the system accepts it. At the end of the day, people who hold differing perspectives are warmly embraced as a part of the FCC spiritual family. We only ask that those who do so respect that the Wesleyan/Holiness perspective should shape all formal teaching done throughout this church.
You don’t need to be a skilled teacher.
There will be times when it will be appropriate for you to explain what you know about a particular subject, however that is not your primary role as a mentor. Your job is to help your mentee process the information, to assist them in discovering answers to their questions, and to support them with your presence and prayer. In this way, you are more of a tutor than a teacher.
Here are some tips towards that end:
Ask questions in response to questions to clarify that you truly understand what they are asking. This will save you from launching into a 15 minute lecture on something they don’t care about. If appropriate, look back at the teaching resources together (open up the book, re-watch a section of a video, or direct them to a passage of Scripture) to see if they can work through it for themselves. Often people just need to say something out loud and hear it repeated back to them to discover an answer. Not only that, but people who have grappled with a question until they discover the answer for themselves often remember that answer better than those who were simply told the answer immediately.
Ask them, “Before I tell you what I think, I’m curious what you think?” This accomplishes multiple things. First, it gives you a chance to see what they already know/don’t know. Second, it requires them to participate in the learning process more effectively. And third, they will be more open to hearing your thoughts if you’ve heard their thoughts first.
Get comfortable with the idea that they may not accept everything they’re taught. If they express doubts or a differing perspective say, “It’s okay if we don’t agree on this. You don’t have to agree with everything our faith community believes in order to belong and be accepted. I just want to make sure you’ve been given the opportunity to learn what we believe so you can understand who we are and what we’re about.”
You don’t need to be a skilled therapist.
There may come a time in your mentoring relationship when you feel like you’re in over your head. People may reveal that they are struggling with debilitating anxiety, depression, addiction, deep wounds from their past, or a marriage in crisis. If this happens, do not try to tackle something you are not trained to deal with. Do not hesitate to refer that person to a professional by saying, “It seems like you might be struggling with some things that are outside of my skill set as a mentor. I’d really like to see you talk to a pastor or a therapist who can help you work through this better than I can. Would it be okay with you if I gave you contact information for ________ (depending on the situation)?”
- Pastor Dusty (for those who need pastoral counseling)
- Pastor Jessica (for those who are wrestling with God/faith/theology beyond your comfort level)
- Mark Dumdei, LMFT (for those who need a licensed professional therapist) #(904) 886-2446